Is anyone else getting a little tired of the Katy Perry-Russell Brand news? Just me? Because people are acting like this is the most shocking split of the decade. Bitches, please. This was a disaster from the start. It was a disaster before they even got married! Anyway, Us Weekly has a big cover story this week about how Katy was “married to a crazy man.” Seriously? Us Weekly is going to take the position – in bold on their cover – that Katy is the victim and that Russell is “crazy”? Granted, he might be crazy (although I think he’s just surprisingly intelligent and rather eccentric). But Katy is no “victim” for the love of God. So here are some highlights from Us Weekly’s cover story:
*Russell “duped” Katy with the prenup. Katy wanted to sell the photos from their Indian wedding, and she wanted Russell to sign a prenup, but he refused on both counts. Allegedly, Brand wanted to keep their wedding “pure” – he’s quoted as saying, “I want to make our wedding … normal, So it ain’t selling the pictures.” Meanwhile, since they filed in California, a community property state, “it could mean their assets will be divided down the middle therefore putting her $70 million fortune at stake. Their estate also includes $15 million in lavish properties all over the world.”
*Katy wasn’t “kinky” enough to satisfy Russell. A source says: “Katy was kinky enough during their first times together and he was very attracted to her. When things got bad, if they got a roll in the hay, they were always better after.” But the source also says that “despite Katy’s attempts to keep the spark alive in the bedroom by scheduling monthly date nights at swanky hotels, it was ‘never enough.’” This source, who knows intimate details about Katy and Russell’s lovemaking, also said: “He likes dirty things. He really gets off on one particular p0rn0 with a guy in a wheelchair. He’s attracted to things he can’t imagine happening to him. And he has a closet full of sex toys.”
*Russell hated being alone: “Russell always needs someone there and that’s not Katy,” the source says. “She’s busier than he is.”
*Katy’s hard partying lifestyle and friends really bothered him: “Russell can’t be in clubs because of his recovery and Katy didn’t want to give up the partying. She didn’t want to even compromise. That infuriated Russell.”
*Russell wanted to start a family: “When he asked Katy about [having kids],” the source says. “Katy would just smile and says she was too busy.”
*Russell wasn’t supportive of Katy’s career: “She had so many things going on this year and there were so many times he wasn’t there,” the source says. “He told her she wasn’t funny [when she hosted SNL] and he was totally uninterested [when he sat front row at her last concert]. He seemed annoyed he was there. I don’t think he sat through one whole song.”
Okay, I’ll admit that the revelations about Russell’s sexual kinks was interesting, although I can’t really imagine ever wanting to watch a pr0n about a dude in a wheelchair (no disrespect to those in wheelchairs, but it’s just not my fetish). Personally, I think Russell looks like a spanker. Like, he loves to spank women and he likes to be spanked himself. Don’t you think? I just don’t see him as a whips-and-chains kind of guy though. Maybe feathers and massage oils? I could see a sex swing. I could definitely see role playing.
Incidentally, I wonder what Helen Mirren is up to? You know that Helen and Russell are soulmates, right? I bet she would be up for whatever Russell wanted.
Here’s the pervert yesterday in London. Ten bucks says he just moves back to London permanently now. Also, THAT SCARF. That scarf says “I’m into autoerotic asphyxiation.”
Photos courtesy of WENN.
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